
audiobook
Perfect Behavior - by Donald Ogden Stewart - Illustrated by Ralph Barton - A Guide for Ladies and Gentlemen in all Social Crises
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE:THE ETIQUETTE OF COURTSHIP - A FEW WORDS ABOUT LOVE
CHAPTER TWO:THE ETIQUETTE OF ENGAGEMENTS AND WEDDINGS - THE HISTORIC ASPECT
CHAPTER THREE:THE ETIQUETTE OF TRAVEL
CHAPTER FOUR:AT THE CONCERT AND THE OPERA
CHAPTER FIVE:ETIQUETTE FOR DRY AGENTS - SOME BROADER ASPECTS OF PROHIBITION
CHAPTER SIX:A CHAPTER FOR SCHOOLGIRLS
CHAPTER SEVEN:THE ETIQUETTE OF GAMES AND SPORTS - GOLF AS A PASTIME
CHAPTER EIGHT:CORRESPONDENCE AND INVITATIONS - CORRESPONDENCE
A witty, tongue‑in‑cheek handbook that treats the rituals of everyday life as if they were military operations, this guide humorously dissects everything from the awkward first call to the chaos of a wedding gone awry. Its mock‑serious voice, peppered with absurd anecdotes—like a congressman’s slip in a Turkish bath or a bride’s misplaced aisle—offers both laugh‑out‑loud moments and surprisingly sharp observations about the social codes we all follow.
The book walks listeners through a parade of scenarios: courting, engagements, travel, concerts, dry‑agent escapades, schoolgirl etiquette, and even the quirks of sports and correspondence. Each chapter bursts with playful illustrations of faux pas and the “correct” ways to avoid them, turning ordinary situations into comic tableaux. Listeners will enjoy the blend of historical references, clever footnotes, and the author’s delightfully dry humor, making the age‑old art of manners feel fresh, absurd, and oddly instructive.
Language
en
Duration
~3 hours (210K characters)
Publisher of text edition
Project Gutenberg
Credits
Produced by Charles Keller, and David Widger
Release date
Sep 1, 1998
Rights
Public domain in the USA.
Subjects

1894–1980
A sharp wit of the Algonquin Round Table, he moved from humorous writing and Broadway to Hollywood screenplays, winning an Academy Award for The Philadelphia Story. His career later became part of the larger story of the Hollywood blacklist, adding a poignant turn to an already remarkable life.
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