Second census

The story opens with a dry‑witted scientist racing home after a late night at Brookhaven National Laboratory, accompanied by his flamboyant colleague Maitland Browde—an applied‑atomics genius who loves practical jokes and reckless flying. Their jetcopter darts low over Long Island Sound, skimming treetops and sending leaves scattering, while the narrator worries more about a surprise he’s just received than the reckless stunt. When his wife Tessie calls to announce that they are about to become parents of quintuplets, the frantic rush home takes on a new, absurd urgency.

The narrative blends sharp scientific banter with suburban family anxieties, painting a portrait of a man caught between cutting‑edge physics and the ordinary chaos of impending parenthood. As the bewildered narrator watches Browde’s daredevil antics and listens to the unflappable Ed Fitzgerald’s monologue, humor and tension rise in equal measure. The opening promises a witty, fast‑paced tale where lab brilliance collides with the very real worries of raising five newborns at once.