Perkins of Portland: Perkins The Great

In this witty turn of the early twentieth‑century, a charismatic hustler named Perkins steps into a hotel lobby and dazzles a skeptical onlooker with his boundless talent for inventing advertising slogans. He boasts of a magical “Patent Porous Plaster” that promises to make every pain fly away, yet admits the product itself is still just an idea. The narrator watches as Perkins unspools a grand scheme: sell the hype, collect the orders, then fill the gap with a manufactured supply. The scene captures the glint of ambition and the absurdity of a man who can sell anything, even a non‑existent cure.

The story balances sharp satire with a lively portrait of turn‑of‑the‑century business optimism, exposing how language can turn empty promises into lucrative ventures. As Perkins outlines his plan to turn ad revenue into a fortune, the reader is drawn into a world where bold slogans and daring confidence outweigh any actual product. The opening invites listeners to consider the fine line between ingenuity and deception, all delivered with a breezy, humorous tone.