
audiobook
Books by Gelett Burgess
How Not to Be Them
INTRODUCTION
WINDOW-SMOOCHERS
A LOW TRICK
WHEN TO GO
"AIN'T"
NELL THE NIBBLER
JUSTICE
A PUZZLE
A delightfully mischievous guide, this book offers a tongue‑in‑cheek look at the everyday antics of little trouble‑makers. Through lively rhymes and whimsical drawings, it captures the very moments—window smooches, sneaky tricks, and endless snack raids—that every parent recognizes. The narrator’s self‑deprecating humor invites listeners to see the chaos through a lens of gentle correction rather than stern reprimand.
Each short verse tackles a specific habit, from the proper time to leave a visitor’s house to the perils of using “ain’t” in place of “isn’t.” The lessons are woven into playful scenarios that celebrate curiosity while nudging children toward politeness, honesty, and kindness. The charming illustrations echo the verses, turning each teaching moment into a vivid, laugh‑inducing tableau.
Perfect for families who enjoy humor with their morals, the book’s breezy rhythm makes it an engaging listen for both kids and adults. Its light‑hearted approach encourages reflection on everyday etiquette without ever feeling like a lecture.
Language
en
Duration
~18 minutes (17K characters)
Publisher of text edition
Project Gutenberg
Credits
Produced by Internet Archive's Children's Library. David Garcia, and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
Release date
2004-07-23
Rights
Public domain in the USA.

1866–1951
Best known for the playful poem "The Purple Cow," this American humorist brought a mischievous energy to everything he wrote. He moved easily between verse, satire, illustration, and literary journalism, and helped shape the lively San Francisco literary scene of the 1890s.
View all books
by Gelett Burgess

by Gelett Burgess

by Gelett Burgess

by Gelett Burgess

by Gelett Burgess

by Gelett Burgess

by Gelett Burgess