
By Bruce Bairnsfather
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
FOREWORD
CHAPTER I - LANDING AT HAVRE—TORTONI'S—FOLLOW THE TRAM LINES—ORDERS FOR THE FRONT
CHAPTER II - TORTUOUS TRAVELLING—CLIPPERS AND TABLETS—DUMPED AT A SIDING—I JOIN MY BATTALION
CHAPTER III - THOSE PLUGSTREET TRENCHES—MUD AND RAIN—FLOODED OUT—A HOPELESS DAWN
CHAPTER IV - MORE MUD—RAIN AND BULLETS—A BIT OF CAKE—"WIND UP"—NIGHT ROUNDS
CHAPTER V - MY MAN FRIDAY—"CHUCK US THE BISCUITS"—RELIEVED—BILLETS
CHAPTER VI - THE TRANSPORT FARM—FLEECED BY THE FLEMISH—RIDING—NEARING CHRISTMAS
CHAPTER VII - A PROJECTED ATTACK—-DIGGING A SAP— AN 'ELL OF A NIGHT—THE ATTACK— PUNCTURING PRUSSIANS
A vivid, first‑hand account of a young officer’s baptism in the Great War, this memoir captures the chaotic arrival of troops at Le Havre and the bewildering scramble into the mud‑filled billets of the Somme valley. The narrator’s wry voice sketches the cramped transport ships, the endless queues for rations, and the surreal sight of ragged boys hawking souvenirs as the column trudges toward makeshift camps that feel more like endless bogs than military bases.
Beyond the stark descriptions of mud, rain and cold, the author injects humor and camaraderie, addressing old friends with nicknames and sharing the absurdities of life on the front—star shells that briefly illuminate the muck, ill‑timed fire‑bucket drills, and the constant battle against drafts in cramped tents. His keen eye for both the grim and the comic offers listeners a grounded glimpse of wartime life, balancing the hardship of the trenches with the resilient spirit of those who endured them.
Language
en
Duration
~4 hours (251K characters)
Publisher of text edition
Project Gutenberg
Credits
Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Steven desJardins, and Distributed Proofreaders
Release date
2004-02-01
Rights
Public domain in the USA.

1887–1959
Best known for creating the walrus-moustached soldier Old Bill, this British cartoonist turned the mud and misery of the First World War trenches into humor that struck a chord with soldiers and civilians alike. His drawings were widely loved for being funny, blunt, and deeply observant about everyday life at the front.
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