
By FRITZ LEIBER
A celebrated professor has the honor of welcoming Earth’s first Martian guest, and the encounter quickly turns from formal ceremony to a lively lesson in cross‑planetary etiquette. The alien, surprisingly human‑shaped yet draped in a deep, textured hue, asks politely for the bathroom, prompting the host’s wife to point him toward the upstairs facilities. What follows is a charmingly chaotic glimpse into a household trying to balance scholarly curiosity with everyday courtesy.
The professor’s children—an inquisitive son and a self‑assured daughter—join the fray, each offering wild theories about the visitor’s motives while the family debates the proprieties of a turquoise‑skinned guest in their home. Their banter, peppered with humorous speculation about Martian habits and Earthly customs, creates a warm, slightly absurd portrait of first contact.
Listeners will be drawn into a witty, character‑driven tableau where scientific wonder meets domestic comedy, leaving them eager to discover just how long the Martian’s bathroom expedition will last and what it reveals about both worlds.
Language
en
Duration
~12 minutes (11K characters)
Publisher of text edition
Project Gutenberg
Credits
Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
Release date
2009-07-24
Rights
Public domain in the USA.

1910–1992
A sharp, imaginative voice in fantasy, horror, and science fiction, this American writer helped shape modern sword-and-sorcery through the adventures of Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser. His work is known for its wit, atmosphere, and willingness to move easily between eerie horror, big ideas, and playful adventure.
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by Fritz Leiber

by Fritz Leiber

by Fritz Leiber

by Fritz Leiber

by Fritz Leiber

by Fritz Leiber

by Fritz Leiber

by Fritz Leiber